"While pooping in an elementary school stall in Cambridge, I'm suddenly overcome with how insanely ridiculous it is that our Phillies even made it to the World Series twice."Yes, folks, baseball fever is in the air. Catch it.
It is an amazing time to be a Philadelphia Phillies fan. The greatest first baseman, second baseman and shortstop in team history are still on the roster. Every member of the outfield made last year's All-Star Game. General manager Ruben Amaro Jr. made a blockbuster deal in the offseason to bring in super ace Roy Halladay. And our former ace and current closer can't possibly pitch worse than they did in 2009!
Hardworking, extremely likable players, superstars everywhere you turn, an aura of success surrounding Citizens Bank Park, a hillbilly-turned-icon as manager. This team has it all.
Nevertheless, you have to admit that making the Fall Classic three times in a row is crazy. Not only does that mean continuously winning about 100 total games (at least) a year, it also means that your players remain extremely consistent and at least relatively healthy. Those things don't always come together.
For two years in Philadelphia, they have. But, even with most of the main pieces returning, even with what look like a few key additions here and there, it's been tough to remain eternally confident. As Phillies fans, even in this golden age, we're still kinda waiting for the hammer to drop.
But in the last 24 hours, something has changed. Something positive, something beautiful. An entity has descended on Clearwater, Florida, a beacon of hope and freedom and promise and love. A sign that everything is going to be alright, that somebody upstairs is smiling down on these Phillies, that the local nine has their priorities straight and are committed to only the finest things in life.
That something is this:
My god. Look at that. If this team isn't destined to win, I don't know who could be.
So, in celebration of what everyone now knows will be another extremely successful Phillies season, I'm proud to present part one in an ongoing list of ten-ish (we'll see how busy I get) reasons the Phillies will return to the World Series.
Next up on the countdown: More than just a beautiful photo. But my God, what a beard.