I'm not ashamed to say that I love Twitter.
I currently have 389 followers, which I think is pretty good for some asshole Web editor living in Boston. Of course, a lot of them are fake accounts set up to send people spam links and porn, but beggars can't be choosers.
There's a million reasons why YOU should be tweeting right now, too. First off, there's some true comedic geniuses out there. If you don't laugh at Cyborg Tommy Hanson, Drunk Hulk or snakebro, you don't have a soul.
And you might get in contact with stars! I've been direct messaged by Thurman Thomas (of Buffalo Bills fame) and Thomas Lennon (of Lt. Dangle fame). Both were upset that I lightly ridiculed them. Keep in mind that Thomas is an NFL Hall of Famer and Lennon is a very successful comedic actor and television star.
But if you aren't contacted directly by celebrities you've chosen to malign, don't worry. Sometimes they'll share your words with all their pals! I've been retweeted by CSNPhilly.com's Jordan Raanan, The700Level.com's Matt P, ESPN's "Talented Mr. Roto" Matthew Berry and NickCifuentes.com's Nick Cifuentes (alright, the last one is less impressive). It's the silliest, cheapest thrill to get RTed by someone like TMR, to stand out amongst the hundreds of tweets he gets every hour. But it's a thrill nonetheless.
Keep in mind, though, that it's not just about the "fame" of accumulating followers and being recognized by fantasy sports gurus. I've had football conversations with NFL analysts, talked hockey with Philadelphia sportswriters and shot the shit with "respected" bloggers. All of a sudden, everyone is accessible. If you like (or don't like) someone, you can let them know. Odds are, if they're like Thomas Lennon and Thurman Thomas, you'll even be asked why.
It's already cliché to say this, but Twitter really does bring everyone down to a more even playing field. Guys like Chad Ochocinco and Kevin Durant tweet as much, if not more, than I do. Suddenly, the only difference between us is that they have millions of dollars and outrageous amounts of athletic ability.
I know that doesn't exactly make us equals, but on a typical day, both of us are staring at our smartphones while sending out stupid 140-character messages. No matter what, they're still people. Rich, successful people, but also attention-seeking weirdos looking for human connection and online encouragement. Just like me!
If you're reading this and you aren't on Twitter, I highly recommend it. It's a little weird at first; you'll basically be tweeting into a deep, dark void of disinterest. But it's obviously more than just a fad, and there really is something for everyone. If you like sports, for example, you'll find that breaking stories are now tweeted before anything else. I highly enjoyed being the first person in my friend group to know that Vick was retaining his starting job; it made me feel special in a loser-y way.
And of course, Sylvester Stallone and Weird Al Yankovic are on Twitter. If that's not enough for you, I don't know what is.